Nadiya, 42 years old

Nadiya, 42, is a resident of Uzhhorod, the wife of a soldier who is currently defending Ukraine, mother of two daughters.

How do I feel? It’s hard to find the words to describe or explain my condition. A photo is circulating on social media: a woman wearing a bloody sweater with the words: “I’m fine”. It is an accurate visualization.

My husband has been my main support in life for many years. In the first days of the war, he volunteered for the army. It was a conscious, deliberate joint decision. I stayed at home with the children, as they now pompously like to write and say, to hold the home front. At first, I was overwhelmed by the horror that consumed everything: there was war in the country, death, and destruction, and my family was far away and not always in touch. Then came an emotional stupor, which I am still in.

Family life has always been perceived by me as something usual, something that is taken for granted, even mundane. The importance of being together is fully realized only after a long separation, living with constant fear for a loved one. And it is almost impossible to reveal these feelings to someone, to show them. I learned to disguise myself with a smile, empty words, and fake cheerfulness. It is difficult to keep a “poker face” all the time, but it is still easier than explaining something.

The support of the Tree of My Life is vital. Sharing traumatic experiences, sharing your fears with a group of people who have experienced and continue to experience every day what you feel. The space speaks: “We are here for you!” and provides psychological assistance to us, the families of military personnel. It is here that you can be yourself, not keep your feelings in your fist, not hide your tears, and not close yourself off from emotions. And go on with your life, because you realize that life always wins, and this is truly priceless.